MAKE BEN FAIR

I figure its time for me to start blogging again...i was going to start on Sunday and make it a new year thing but then I decided that I didn't want it to be a new year thing. I didn't want this to be some deal that was like, "oh happy freakin new year, i am going to change me life and tell everyone about it on my awesome blog" No, this is just me again, sharing the crazy things that happen and how i try and interpret them. I still have a link on my blog to my other blog called old man dudley's politic and I will be posting readings and emails and stuff on that blog again if anyone is interested. I will try and keep the politic stuff on that blog in case you are not interested in my views on what is going on in the world...but if you are interested there is a place for that and so I encourage and would love for you to read that stuff and share your thoughts. I can't stress enough that I don't have the answers, i just enjoy the search.

So 2005 had the making to be the best year ever. I went to see U2, Coldplay, Oasis (twice in 2 days), Aqualung, the David Crowder *Band (i see them all the time at church but this time we went to a show in Dallas and it was rad), the Frames, Snow Patrol, Embrace, Gwen Stefani, Keene, and they were all pretty much amazing.
I had the opportunity to travel to Costa Rica this summer with Stu and the guys from florida for a week of surfing. Well, they did the surfing, i did alot of paddling and wiping out. I did drop in on a 8 ft wave and almost caught it...it was so dang close it was amazing. I can't even begin to describe the feeling. Jamie and I went to lake tahoe with Jamie's family this summer and it was great. We had a blast and it was so pretty. It was just a great family vacation. Jamie and I also went to New York for a few days this Dec. (thanks D & T! ) and it was freezing amazing! I highly reccommend visiting the big apple in Dec. All the Christmas stuff was so fun, just take a big jacket to stay warm. We went to Amarillo several times this year but one was for my mother Linda's retirement party. It was just an amazing weekend. The church was very gracious and appreciative to her for her 10 yrs as children's minister. They called it Linda Dudley Day at church. It was very fun. I am very proud of my folks. They both work hard and love what they do. I was proud of my Mom for retiring. I know it was hard for her but I think it was for the best. I am excited to see what is next for her...it could be anything.

So like I was saying, 2005 had the makings of the best year ever. Then Kyle died. Everything changed. Everything. I haven't written or talked about this subject much. I mean I talk about it all the time, my entire life changed. But I haven't talked alot about how this has made me "feel" or "how am I doing"? Part of me wishes I could express that stuff or that I had some amazing insight into my emotions and was able to share or express the things that I think, or feel. I guess the one thing that I keep going back to is Kyle's final paragraph of the sermon that was to be given on the day he died. He just told us to live, to LIVE! Kyle modeled this for me and i actually feel like I had begun to actually live this way. This concept he had of making the most of life, the living of life was something that Kyle just was...it was his being. So when i heard those final words of that final paragraph it was so beautiful but not because it was as if it was the most amazing life changing moment of my life....it was because it was exactly Kyle.

So as I look back at this year, I want to just discount every life experience I had and just say this was the worst year of my life. The year I lost one of my best friends, my pastor, my example, my friend, my co-worker...but as I look back at my year I realize that I was truly blessed to have the opportunity to do some amazing things. I went to go see the greatest bands in the world, traveled to some of the coolest places in the world and had the opportunity to spend time with my family and friends. I wouldn't be able to appreciate these things if it weren't for Kyle, so thanks Kyle!

So here's to Life, its for the LIVING!